Sunday, January 27, 2013
We Are Winter
We have been getting together for dinner with three other families for a while now. There is a total of thirteen children and when they are all in attendance everyone has a friend present and there is truly nothing better than having a friend present.
It has worked out that each family's dinner lands in a different season and we are winter. Winter is difficult for me, sun worshipper that I am, so this bit of manufactured warmth in the form of a house full of friends is nourishing.
I feel that the house is just starting to come together, is just starting to feel like mine, and a party always brings a burst of energy for the filling in. I had originally painted this hallway a light blue and it never felt right. Experimenting with colors for our bedroom doors I fell in love with this saddle-leather shade. Not right for the doors, it seemed just the thing for the hallway, a bridge between our room and Bill's Calke Green study.
An old bench, one that had not even found a good home in the old house, held space here. The painting was my wedding present to Bill, and if it's not something that we would buy now, it reminds me of where we were when I was so much under the influence of other people.
I had seen this chest and it kept knocking on the back door of my consciousness. Readying for the party I decided that it was, indeed a good idea. When I went to buy it, it was out on approval with someone else and, I am embarrassed to say, I had a temper tantrum. A small one, but a tantrum nonetheless. I called a friend in full froth and as I was finally winding down I said, "I mean, I get that's it not a kidney," though I was behaving as if it were.
I just wanted the house to be pretty. Just wanted to do a little less explaining and apologizing. Just wanted things to be right for this crew that I like so well. The shop called in the middle of one of the boy's basketball games to say the piece had come back; it hadn't worked for the other buyer. A few friends said, "karma." But I am not sure this cosmic kick-back is what my bad behavior earned and I am looking over my shoulder wondering what the universe might have in store.